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It is lack of wisdom that makes people do certain things in marriage and it ends up destroying their homes. If you find yourself doing any of the following, it is a sign of immaturity and a pointer to the fact that you need help and need to improve.

-Keeping malice
-Rejecting food because you are angry with your wife is barbaric.
-Abusing each other
-Reporting to a third party
-Sexual denial, having no interest in sex
-Hatred and loveless-ness
-Sexual unfaithfulness
-Failure to provide for the family
-Night crawling
-Nagging and murmuring
-Failure to apologize when you are wrong
-Failure to pray together with your spouse
-Failure to forgive your spouse
-Embarrassing your spouse openly
-Comparing your spouse with others
-Loving your siblings, parents and children more than your spouse
-Failure to go for counseling when your marriage is in trouble
-Failure to be committed to one’s marriage
-Thinking of divorce
-Threatening your spouse with divorce and separation
-Complaining about everything
-Using abusive words and making hurting remarks
– Shouting during discussions.
– Getting closer to your friends, siblings or relatives more than your spouse
-Arguments which nobody is ready to lose
-Taking all credit for any good thing that happens, not giving any to one’s partner
-Being selfish and self centered
-Allowing friends and family members to direct the affairs of your house.
– Not accepting blame for any mistake
-Failure to apologize or say ‘‘I am sorry’’
-Majoring on the mistakes of your spouse, or underestimating his or her good deeds
-Laziness and failure to work
– Competing with your spouse at home.
-Talking about your ‘‘ex’’ often (ex- boyfriend, ex- girlfriend)
-Unfriendly and uncaring attitude
-Wife battering
-Stinginess, loving to receive without giving out.
-Drunkenness and partying
-Treating one’s spouse as a kid and without respect
– Failure to communicate
-Taking vengeance for every offense, refusing to reconcile
-Mismanagement of money
– Referring to old hurts often
-Allowing anger, bitterness and resentment to take over one’s life.

-Culled from Ten commandments For Couples by Bisi Adewale

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