South African Minister of Higher Education and Training, Blade Nzimande has announced his country’s plan to introduce “Witchcraft’ as part of their College curriculum starting in 2018.

Blade encouraged prospective students’ to consider enrolling to study Witchcraft. According to Blade “There is a lot we can learn from witchcraft, like how they fly in that winnowing basket. Imagine if we learn that skill. It will eradicate traffic jams and everyone will just get in their basket and fly. It also means we will not be importing fuel anymore.”

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It is not a bit surprising that Blade’s announcement was met with boos and bottle throws from the packed auditorium, filled with representatives from student unions around the country who had attended the meeting with the Minister with the hope that Blade would be announcing a zero fee increase for the upcoming academic year.

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It was shocking when Blade announced that South Africa will also be inviting witches from other countries across the border with a promise of South African permanent residency. According to Blade, “I spoke to Gibs (Minister of Home affairs Malusi Gigaba) and he agreed to issue witches from outside South Africa with permanent residence permits. I heard Malawi and Zimbabwe have an impressive collection of witches. We are hoping they will heed the call” ~ NTBWFAB